WHAT was I thinking?

We're going camping today. Yep, all of us, plus six other families from our playgroup. Fourteen children ages 1 1/2 - 6. We're camping at one family's vineyard, in tents, all night long. I'm wondering what, on earth, I was thinking six weeks ago when I shouted an enthusiastic YES in response to the invitation to camp! A quick reality check: Aidan is afraid of the dark. And thinks that bears are out to get him. And tried sleeping in a tent, in his room, for a week, but never made it more than an hour before surrendering to his own bed. Leo has been sleeping through the night for a mere 4 months. Four months!!! And I am being quite generous, and ignoring the habitual waking-at-five-a.m.-and-needing-some-patting routine. Now Jeff and I used to camp often, and we had some wonderful adventures together - until our last trip, which we affectionately called "Surviving," not camping. [In a nutshell, the hurricane-force winds sheared the bolt off the top of our tent. Undeterred, we bought a pup tent - you know, the boy scout kind.... for boys who are three feet tall.... and tried, for an hour, to boil water for our dinner, but the high winds kept blowing out the gas stove. Finally, we crawled into our tent, exhausted, when that night a herd of wild ponies streaked by us in a stampede. No wonder. When we asked the ranger to recommend a campsite for us, he replied "Western Maryland." We laughed a hearty laugh and thought it strange he was recommending a campsite 200 miles away.....]

Worst case scenario, we pack our stuff in the middle of the night and head home. I don't think it will actually come to that - except that my own vivid memory of camping as a young child is just that. On that trip, with my family and our close friends, the weather was so awful, but we were so determined. It ended in a big sleepover in the middle of the family room, a night I'll never forget, because of the fun, the laughter, and the absurdity of it all. The tent is packed, the flashlights have new batteries.... and the carpet is freshly vacuumed, in case we have to resort to Plan Z.