Half the World and Thanksgiving

Last Thanksgiving Eve, a friend described a childhood tradition she'd bridged into her own family, one that was striking and humbling in its nature.  Each year on the Eve of turkey day, she and her family would have only rice and tea for dinner, since half the world's population subsists on a variation of this simple meal, most days.  It was too late for our 2011 meal, but I knew for certain what I'd be serving on Thanksgiving Eve 2012.

We talked to the kids about our meal a week or so in advance, and then again at dinner that night.  I shared with them the information I had googled before the meal - that 2.8 billion people, half the world's population, lived on less than $2 per day, and that rice was the staple crop that many people relied on for 2 or 3 meals every day.  I shared with Jeff that 1.2 billion live on less than $1 per day.  As our grocery bill routinely tops the $200 mark each week, I find those numbers staggering.  And appalling.  And humbling.

We said grace and dinner began.  I'd already made a concession for the kids, since they are not big rice eaters and I didn't think they'd care much for tea, either (despite copious amounts of sugar).  Instead, I made available buttered noodles and apple juice.  Aidan was slightly wary about dinner - last week, at a restaurant, he'd ordered buttered noodles for lunch, then found himself still quite hungry after he'd polished off the plate.  He cajoled his brothers into sharing their leftovers, and told me later, "I really regretted not ordering something with more protein in it."  But Aidan is a very good sport about dinner and food in general, and helped himself to noodles and rice, then asked for a taste of our tea.  Leo stared grumpily at his plate and asked what else he was getting for dinner.  "Nothing, honey, remember?"  I tried to talk through the point of the meal again, but Leo couldn't hear me above his howls of protest.  Meanwhile, Pax whined that he wanted an apple, wanted an apple, where was his apple? and refused to touch the noodles he usually gobbles right up when served as a side.  Defeated, I quietly sipped my tea and gave Jeff a long look that said "What was I thinking?"  I muttered, "This is a disaster."   Dinner ended early, and quickly.  I felt a pang of guilt when I realized how little clean up there was, and how easy the dinner prep had been.  Was I really supposed to be enjoying that part so much?

Oh, and then of course there was all the cheating.   I'd loaded the kids up on lots of fruit and some protein-rich granola bars in the afternoon, in preparation for the austere dinner.  In general,  I'm pretty disciplined.  But a gin-and-tonic proved irresistible to us at 4:00 in the afternoon, and I reasoned with Jeff that possibly 1/8th of the world's population enjoys gin and tonics before dinner.  By 9:00 at night, I was really, really, really hungry.  (And wasn't that the whole point?) But then Jeff reasoned that if we let the apple pie we'd made that weekend sit any longer in the fridge, it would have to be pitched in the trash.  So we would actually not be wasteful of food if we were to consume the leftover pie....

I felt like we'd failed.  But with a few day's worth of perspective, I suppose I've come to appreciate that the take-away message from the meal was perhaps more important than the discipline required to fully embrace it.  We didn't eat only rice and tea, we didn't forego indulgences like mixed drinks and pie, we didn't feel a particularly deep connection to half the world's population.  But we did experience that it was hard.  And staggering.  And humbling.  And important.  It was important, to be uncomfortable and hungry and feel guilty for our indulgences.  While I don't think we did a good job sticking to tradition, I think we each learned from the experience.  I walked away with an even deeper sense of compassion, and gratitude.  I'm really grateful that my kids love fruit and expect it to be served at every meal.  I'm really grateful that rice is a choice in this house, in addition to pasta and grains and bread and dairy and veggies and lean meats.  I'm really grateful that each of us struggled in our own ways through the meal, because if it had been easy, how could we grow?

I'm glad we did it.  I'm glad we failed.  It will give us something to work toward next year, and in the meantime, it will make us think more deeply about half the world.

Aidan wrote this recipe at school, two days before our meal.  Perhaps he knows exactly how to serve the whole world, after all....


A Recipe for a Happy Thanksgiving, by Aidan Carter

Ingrients:  famly, food, prayers, freinds, brotherhood.
First you stir a family, food, freinds.
Add brotherhood beat for 360 seconds.
Servers the whole world.

Full of Thanks giving

Pax and his "Hold onto"

Eggs like fish

I absolutely love what comes out of the mouths of babes!

Last night, at dinner, Leo was telling us about his day.  A classmate of his had gotten in trouble earlier in the week when there was a substitute teacher, and she was facing the consequences of her bad behavior.  Leo announced, "Sasha* had to go see the advice principal today because she was so bad when we had the substitute."  (*not her real name)

Me:  She had to go where?

Leo:  The Advice Principal (with a look that said, are you deaf?  I said advice principal!)

(...I sure do hope that the vice principal had some good advice to offer Sasha.....)

********************************

Today, Pax and I were making brownies, his all-time favorite treat to bake.  After I helped him crack open the egg, he watched as the yolk slowly slid out of the shell.  Grinning and giggling, he said with glee - -

"Oh!  The egg just came out like a fish!" 

"Like a fish?"  I asked.

"Yes!  Like a clean goldfish!"

And indeed, the golden yolk bore an uncanny resemblance to Cookie, the goldfish Pax had helped return to her newly cleaned bowl, just last week.

Filled to overflow

I fear that my posts have been rather thin these days, lacking substance.  I hope to remedy that soon enough.  In the meantime -

For many years now, our family has created a Tree of Thanks each November.  But this year, the idea of the tree felt old and stale. I wanted something new.  Inspired by the Trick or Treat banner and influenced by the letter-centric world in which both Leo and Pax exist, I thought of an alternative. 

I cut out 26 different colored leaves from cardstock, and labeled each one with a fancy gold letter at the top - A through Z.  For a week and a half during dinner conversation, we went though each letter and named the things for which we were most grateful, letter by letter.  Some were amusing, others, poignant, others still, tender and true. 

I hot glued each leaf to a long satin brown ribbon and hung the banner low enough in the dining room to both read and to add to as the month goes on and our gratitude grows.

 
P.S. May I just add.... this idea did NOT come from Pinterest, thankyouverymuch.  While I probably saw something like it, months ago, resulting in a simmering-on-the-back-burner effect, this came from my brain.  It felt refreshing and encouraging to have figured something creative out all by myself, for a change....

Highlights of the letters include many adventures and appreciations we've shared this year, including corn mazes and baking brownies and keyboarding lessons and gymnastics and speech therapists and ice cream.
Predictably, A included many names - Adam; Anne; Aunts; Aidan.  However, when Leo added "Apple Baby" to our A-list gratitudes, I was undone.  Apple Baby is the nickname he gave to the baby we lost before we had our Leo.  Perhaps, in some very deep and unconscious part of his mind, Leo will always hold appreciation for our Apple Baby, because without her, there would be no Leo Gabriel - our Leo "Good News."  His willingness to bear witness, out loud, to her life in utero always makes me take a deep breath, filled to overflowing with gratitude and love.

Filled to overflowing with gratitude and love - that pretty much sums it up.  For even when I am exhausted, annoyed, angry, upset - even then - I am grateful.  For them. 

For Aidan:  This morning, he snuck down the stairs before Jeff and I were up, fed the cats (even though it makes him gag), and fixed breakfast for himself and his brothers.  He cut Pax's toaster waffle just how he likes it - some in strips, some in pieces - and added syrup carefully as a Sunday treat.  He carefully spiked his hair for church and asked Jeff for another lesson in tying a tie, loving how much he looked like Dad today in pinstripe shirts and blue ties. 

For Leo:  Who, when asked at dinner what his favorite animal was, responded, "I love ants, because they always work together as a team and help each other out."  Who showers his affection and tender care on his friends and his family, who has transitioned more beautifully to kindergarten than I could have ever hoped or dreamed.  

For Pax:  Who never stops talking.  Who never. stops. talking!!!!  We're in the process of rearranging pictures and photos all over the house, rehanging and reframing right and left.  I brought down a huge framed Matisse print from our bedroom and stashed it in the kitchen, hoping to coax Jeff into swapping the five naked dancers for a proud, tall rooster poster we'd stored behind the Matisse.  When Pax asked why the frame was in the kitchen, I answered, "There's a rooster in here that Daddy is going to frame."  Later, when my mom visited, Pax took her by the hand, led her to the frame and announced, "There is a rooster in here." Furrowing his brow, he added, "But I do not hear him inside here....?" 

And of course, for Jeff.  Without whom none of this would be possible, or funny, or fun. 

Halloween 2012

Harry Potter, a stegosaurus, and Baby Jaguar walk into a bar....
oh wait.  Different story.

Halloween 2012 was a complete success! We hosted our sort-of annual Halloween party, and it was great fun for everyone.  Highlights included a fantastic Pumpkin Ale homebrew by Jeff, a really fun group of guests, and a rockstar babysitter who helped with every aspect of the party, from making punch to overseeing the kids to cleaning up with me afterward.  I loved my costume this year - a Book, set to battle the evil Nook - and as usual, I loved seeing Jeff's creative genius as applied to costumes come alive again this year.  A few party pics, including some decorations I spent many hours creating...

Bat Garland & kids' spooky artwork

Trick or Treat banner (felt) + party table!

Spray painted pumpkins (this is cuter in real life)

Rat infestation!!

Spiderweb valances

One of the kid stations at the party - "Creepy Feely"

Duking it out:  Book vs. Nook

Bada** Boxers

Seth as himelf;  Jeff, Nursing a Beer; a drunken German; Mittens Romney

Halloween Night was especially fun this year.  It was a low-stress, low-key afternoon paired with an equally relaxed evening.  The weather was chilly yet the skies were finally clear, and I fell in love with our community all over again.  I love our street, I love our neighbors, I love this community in which we've made ourselves home....

....I seem to have this uncanny ability to draw attention from the local police, however.  When my parents came to our house to hand out candy while we trick or treated, we borrowed my dad's golf cart to transport the kids from house to house.  At the second house on our street, I sat in the driver's seat while Jeff took the kids to the door, and who should appear beside me but a cop in an unmarked SUV.  He was not particularly amused with the golf cart and told me to get it off the road. (I forgot to tell him that it was really a volkswagon dressed up as a golf cart....)  Busted.  I called it a draw, though, since he didn't notice the closed container I'd stashed in the cupholder on the dashboard.  (Did I mention I don't even know how to drive the golf cart, so I had to wait for Jeff to come back to move it?  Or better still, the irony in the fact that the cop said the golf cart was "unsafe, especially on a night like tonight" yet he was driving.... an SUV?!)

A few more photos:

I wore this costume when I was pregnant with Aidan, then again when he was 4 months old & went as Hedwig.  I altered it for him 8 years later....

My Stegosaurus. 

Baby Jaguar, complete with a ferocious growl!

Just before The Bust.

Happy Halloween!!!

The best of what's around...

As Hurricane Sandy approaches, we've battened down the hatches and holed up in our warm little house to wait out the storm.  We're not supposed to get hit hard, but school was cancelled today as a precaution, and the wind and the rain is starting to pick up.  The irony does not escape me, therefore, that the post I've planned to write is on the adventures we've had in what has turned out to be the most glorious fall we've ever had.  Seriously - there's never been a more beautiful, colorful, perfectly seasonable fall weather as we've enjoyed this year.....

Early in October, just after the camping trip, the kids had the day off of school and Jeff was in Wisconsin for work.  I was itching for adventure, nature-adventure.  I packed up the kids, our lunches, lots of water, extra layers, and the camera, and we headed to our favorite hiking spot in Shenandoah National Park.  I felt brave and daring, committing to a 2 mile hike in the woods with 3 children, solo, but I was determined.  And so were they.  It was an unforgettable day, with gorgeous views even amid the clouds and chill and early color.  Mostly, it was the unforgettable adventure I shared with my three loves.  Some pics:

 Love these awesome hikers!  Turk Gap Trail, 2 miles round trip.

 At the summit!

On another beautiful day, Jeff and I decided to attempt a family photo shoot, self-portrait style.  In short:  there's a good reason people hire other people to take their pictures, especially when said pictures involve tiny subjects hellbent on NOT being photographed.  Although we might not have the "money shot" we were hoping for, we definitely had some good laughs.

 (Doesn't Pax look like the most cooperative little thing here, with his hand all posed on his knee and all?)

 (Hands clasped.... with death grips to keep them from straying.)

 (Almost a nose-picking shot from Leo.  Almost.)

 (Love this one!  Jeff looks like he's flying through the air; Pax is boneless.)

Later in the month, we took the kids to visit the biggest corn maze in the area - WOW!  We had three different mazes to choose from, and I demanded forced sensibly advised the group to do the one-hour, medium level blue maze.... that took us almost twice that time to complete.  Toward the very beginning, Jeff had to take Pax back to the car to change his diaper.  Before leaving, he handed me a map, pointed to a dot on it and said, "Okay, I'll meet you here.  You all go on ahead."  And then he turned and walked away.  Initially, I thought, how hard could this be?  But then suddenly I was seized with the same feeling of dread and disaster I feel pretty much anytime I'm driving somewhere in the car:  where am I?  I fought my rising panic and tried to act calm as Aidan impatiently urged us to get us going.  Thankfully, a maze employee wandered by, took one look at me and my panic-stricken face, and quickly led us back through the maze until we met up with Jeff again.  After that, I designated myself the permanent caboose of our little train and offered nothing more than encouraging words to keep on going - not a single turn or direction came from me.  Still, it was an aMAZEing experience, one that I'd love to become a tradition:

 Cool play area, separate from the corn maze....

 Oversized checkers.....

 You want me to do what?  Follow a map? 

 Future Navigator

Using the compass to steer our course...

*****
This past weekend, we hosted our kind-of annual Halloween party.  Many weeks' worth of preparation led up to this awesome event, including tons of baking.  Pax has proven himself, time and time again, to be the most competent and capable little baker, and I absolutely love this time I spend with him.  This month alone, we've made cornbread, cupcakes, pumpkin muffins, brownies, caramel corn, granola bars, apple dip, pumpkin dip, biscuits, soups, and cookies.  I do believe that this will the the Year of Baking with Pax.  I don't think anyone will mind.

Fittingly, I suppose, the October that began with wonderful weather is ending with wacky weather.... along with some wacky hair.

BOS, round 2.

I've actually been working on a couple of posts the past few days, but suddenly my writer's fingers demanded a detour.  Unfortunately, it's to revisit an old, painful, unhealed wound.  (These metaphors are terrible.  I'm out of creative juice.)  Anyway--

You remember this whole mess from the spring, right?  And this?  And this?

Well, here's a quick and dirty summary of the current state of affairs (written by someone else, edited by me):

The School Board has reached a desperate point this year and will have to make decisions that will affect you, your family, your livelihood and your wallet.

Due to the under-funding of the school system, the School Board is now forced to decide between the following options. The one chosen will be implemented this school year, beginning in January 2013.  Options include:

• Operating the schools only four days a week (longer days) which would mean no sports or practices could be held on that closed day. Closing the schools would also create potential day care challenges for many parents.
• Additional furlough days for employees
• Eliminating all spring 2013 Virginia High School League sports.
• Closing C. Elementary which has 119 students and eliminate its 12 staff members.
• Closing C. Elementary which has 191 students and eliminate its 12 staff members.

One or more of these options will be implemented on Jan 1, 2013

...and here's my response. Again. 

Dear Board of Supervisors,

Your continued failure to make sound decisions regarding the health and welfare of our public school system is appalling.  I am angry that you, once again, did not approve the funding necessary to support the needs of the county's students and staff.  When the Superintendent approached you last week to request $308,000 for the sustainability of the schools, the only correct response would have been a resounding yes.  Instead, there was a single motion followed by the deafening silence of the devastation and destruction you're causing.

None of the options currently being weighed by the School Board are viable options, because every option will result in catastrophic effects on this community.  Furloughing underpaid teachers is unacceptable, particularly coupled with the increase in insurance the teachers have been forced to bear.  Closing the smaller schools is unacceptable, as the number of students per teacher has already increased since you first slashed the school budget in the spring.  Lengthening the school day and moving to a four day week is unacceptable for myriad reasons, including the fact that a good number of students rely on free and reduced breakfast and lunch, every day, for their nourishment.  Eliminating transportation for students is unacceptable, because those who need to be at school the most will have the hardest time getting there. 

Your continued failure to fund the schools demonstrates your complete lack of commitment to the children in this county and to their sound educational futures.  Please hear me loudly and clearly: your actions are unconscionable.  You do not represent the majority of the individuals who elected you into the office you now hold.  You have made, and are continuing to make, the most egregious budgetary and financial errors.      
Yet you, the Board of Supervisors, again have the opportunity to do the right thing.  You have the opportunity to approve additional funding for the 2012-13 school year and avoid creating even more crippling effects on our students and staff. 

Nothing is more important than your provision of $308,000 for the sustainability of our schools. 

Sincerely,

Anne S. Carter 

 

Embarking on the Known World

Because the Most Ridiculous National Holiday Ever afforded us an extra-long weekend, we made like Columbus and embarked on an adventure to the known world... of camping a local favorite campsite.  (We did not, however, claim to discover anything new, nor chart the course for other ships to bring ruin to the peaceable Natives inhabiting the land...) In hindsight, I find it positively amazing that we ever embarked on a second - let alone eighth or ninth - camping trip after that first ill-fated affair some 3 1/2 years ago. 

Oh, how the times have changed!  Most notably, this camping trip didn't include a single raindrop.  Not one.  I believe this is a Carter Camping Miracle, in fact!  The weather was positively glorious, perhaps the finest weather we'll see this fall.  It was warm and breezy during the day, cool but not cold at night.  The leaves had just started to change, promising more brilliant days of color ahead.

Our tent was cozy and warm, and since I had my very own sleeping bag this time and didn't have to share with Pax and his youth-sized bag, each of us slept better those two nights in the tent than we sleep in our own beds at home - I know, right?  So hard to believe, but so true.

We took the canoe this time, which was one of the biggest highlights of the trip.  As we paddled, both Jeff and I were deeply nostalgic about the many canoe memories we enjoyed in our younger days.  Jeff loves to recount the stories of the 21-day canoe trip he took for several summers through an amazing camp in Quebec.  My own memories from being a camp counselor and taking kids on overnight canoe trips are particularly fun to tell to my own children, but most especially do I love telling them about my canoe trips with my family.  Whenever I was partnered with my father (which was usually), I sat in the front to "navigate" and "help paddle."  I interpreted this to mean "deliberately direct the steerer to forge ahead into shallow, rocky paths in the river for the sheer joy of getting stuck, possibly capsizing, and listening to the mock harrumphing and annoyance that ensued."  This was my modus operandi every. single. time.  Did my dad ever catch on to my antics, or was he possibly as amused by my mischief as I was?

After giggling uncontrollably upon hearing this tale, I could tell Aidan was trying to do the same in our two manned canoe.  Lucky for me, it's hard to get stuck in a wide-bottom canoe in a lake.

Another highlight was that friends of ours also camped at the same site, and our visits overlapped for one night.  What a perfect coincidence!  The 8 kids between 3 families skipped rocks, went on a scavenger hunt, attempted to find a geocache (ha!  It was never found, despite two overly determined fathers), played on the playground and ran the beach together, and generally made for a wonderful and relaxing time for the grown ups.  Relaxing!  Great sleep!  No rain!  Was this for real?

Well, yes, it was still very real.  We still made the "if you don't stop this minute we'll pack up our stuff and go home IMMEDIATELY" threat once each day.  Our box oven brownies?  FAIL.  And I didn't even touch them, so I can't be blamed like last time when I added glowing wood tinder to the box instead of adding more charcoal, resulting in a decidedly smoked flavor.  We totally forgot to bring the brand-new rain/sun/shelter tent cover we bought specifically for this trip.  Jeff, ever the one to lecture me on not over-packing, managed to bring not one...not two...not three... but FOUR pairs of shoes for a three day excursion.

It was a great trip.  We came home happy and deep-down fulfilled by our time outside, together, with friends, as a family.

Some photos (I took 257.  I spared you all but this dozen):

Fresh flowers, festive tablecloth, fantastic beer.  Does it get any better than this?

Aidan was such a rockstar on this trip - so helpful, so careful, so willing.

Nightcrawlers

Look what I caught in the lake!

Trying to beat his mom in a footrace!

Look at this awesome little baby!

This is one of the most genuine pics we've ever taken.  This was "a moment"!

Anonymous oarsmen

Notice my position in the boat - once a coxswain, always a coxswain!

Leo's photo idea:  throw leaves up when the camera goes off.  This took five tries to get the timing right!

"Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile."  -William Cullen Bryant