Yesterday, Pax and I enjoyed a gloriously wonderful day. I savored our slow walk home from the bus stop, the time we took to look at a snail; the imaginative conversation I overheard him having with his miniature animals; the picnic lunch from Bodo's we had on the floor of my church office; his insistence that I paint his fingernails and toenails the same coral color I have on mine, then announcing mid-way, "these are starting to look really cute." At bedtime, I looked deep into his bright blue eyes and said, "Pax, thank you for such a wonderful day. I loved being with you so much." He said "You're welpum. And I did not even miss you today!" I laughed and said no, we were together all day, how could you miss me? He said again, "I know! I did not miss you at all today!"
I discovered, again, the deliciousness of what it means to give your youngest child your undivided attention. To have the time, and therefore the patience, to be a yes mom, the kind of mom who will stop for the snail; who will hear the imaginative play and let it register for what it is; who will recognize the urging in the voice that says "aren't you going to eat your lunch with the me at my picnic on the floor?"; the mom who is reminded that he didn't miss me today because I was his. Exclusively.
Today, I am so grateful for the transition that led to this discovery.