Sunday, May 3, 2009

Underpants and Olive Pizza


The Talk of the Town around here is BIG - Leo is on his way to being diaper-free! In general, I tend to avoid such potty talk with anyone except those who absolutely must hear it. But hey, the news is big, and Leo is proud.

I figured I would be an old hand at potty training the second time around, but anyone who's reared more than one child knows that nothing is ever the same - or easy. In the beginning, Leo insisted on standing to pee, since that's the way his older brother does it. This resulted in many bleachings of the side of the bathtub before we could convince Leo of another way. Next, he demanded underpants on all the time, even at night, so we compromised by putting them on over the diaper. Now, in the throes of success, Leo is anything but discreet about making his needs known. And he uses one term only - poop - to describe any function he wishes to perform in the restroom. At church this morning, after demanding copious amounts of water, he yelled "POOP!" no fewer than eight times at various members of the congregation, in the middle of the children's sermon, and after communion. Thankfully, many of the members are either a) old and therefore hard of hearing; b) grandparents who have heard their share of potty talk; or c) old grandparents who don't understand Toddlerspeak no matter how clearly one shouts "POOP!"
* * * * * * *
By nature and by training, Jeff and I are both "Logophiles" - that is, lovers of words. Aidan's growing understanding for the nuances and subtleties of lanugage, as well as his developing sense of humor, have resulted in great amusement and entertainment for us all. Aidan loves to tell jokes, but as anyone who's attempted to write her own joke knows, this is a skill best left for the commedians. (Case in point: at age 8, I developed this highly creative, original, completely underappreciated joke: What do the baby chicks say to the mother hen? Fetus! Fetus! Fetus!... and now I understand why 5 (or 8) year old jokes aren't so funny.) Recently, Aidan pulled off something of a joke either by luck or sheer brilliance. Watching Jeff cook over the grill whose propane tank is prone to fits, Aidan said, "You know why it's called propane? Because sometimes you can cook like a pro, and sometimes it's a pane [pain]!!"

We have two on-going jokes with Aidan which are endlessly amusing to us because he thinks we're teasing, but isn't 100% sure, so the same conversation plays out each time:
Aidan: The next time we order pizza, I want olive pizza!
A or J: You want all of the pizza? Aidan, what will the rest of us eat?
Aidan: No, I mean olive like you eat!
A/J: Yes, we heard you, you are going to eat all of it! And so forth...

Naturally, we could not resist introducting him to the Best Sesame Street Joke of All Time, told by Bert and Ernie:
Ernie: I one the sandbox
B: I two the sandbox
E: I three the sandbox...

...B: I six the sandbox
E: I seven the sandbox
B: I eight the sandbox.
Ernie: You ATE the sandbox?! That must have tasted terrible!!

1 comment:

Jeff Carter said...

...to which Aidan should have responded, "YES, I eight olive it!"