Captured

We try to capture the moments
the memory
the way you
put your "imagination hat" on:
a preschool creation lying on the floor,
you scooted your head down to meet its open cap.
only you, in that moment, would think to don the hat at floor level,
like a cat creeping into a paper bag,
rather than simply picking it up and placing it atop your head.

The memory of you, standing tippy toe to select just the right spoon to suit your taste
for your strawberry banana yogurt.
ME do it, you scream
when we try to intervene.
Gearing up to knock the truck off the table, you say
ohnoohnoohnoohno over and over and over again,
your words creating an oxymoron with the delight of the voice and
the crash you are about to make.

The memory of you together
in this moment
two imps in cahoots
giggling over the fort you made with the couch pillows
proud, yes,
and because you got away with it - again.
Laughing over lunch at a joke you know
Mom doesn't get.
And never will.

The memories, we cling to
tell each other about
write down in a journal
attempt to record in a poem
we cling to the exact words you spoke
joke you made
inflection of your voice
expression of your eyes,
your furrowed brow

we think we will never forget
yet the memory of what made our hearts burst with laughter
fades
is replaced with a new one, yes-
but I wish I could have them all.

Mostly, though, I hope you remember-- at least,
I hope you know-
the love
the joy
the adoration
pride
I am paying attention,
I see you
I appreciate you
I love you
I love you all these days