Ephemeral

This picture is from lunch today - the three of us had been sitting around the little table, eating our bowls of cereal and discussing what we'd done that morning (a full preschool report from Leo, including how he handled Mean Boy successfully; my attempt to explain the walk that Pax and I took with a new friend to Leo, who couldn't fathom we'd done anything besides sit and wait for him to return home....)

We were each sitting in our own chairs, but after I got up from the table, Pax started inching closer and closer to Leo. Unsatisfied with his progress, he finally got out of his chair and shimmeyed in next to Leo on his chair, bringing his bowl of soup with him. It was as if he couldn't stand not being close to Leo for one more minute. I grabbed the camera and got the above shot, before I was detected....


Here, they know they've been caught - and so they've turned into little hams, happy as can be to share this tiny chair, knowing that it is silly - and special.

I'm collecting these moments. I'm acutely aware of how fleeting my time with Leo is, since he'll be off to kindergarten next year. I'm keenly aware of how different life will be next year, missing two boys in the house, not just one. I'm immensely grateful for the time these two have together, for the bond that they've forged, for the joy they find in sharing an undersized chair, eating soggy cereal. It seems as Pax sensed it today, the ephemeral time we have together, and so he wanted just a little more Leo for himself.

And I'm struggling, too, with the realization that, while our family is perfect and complete, I'm not ready for this to be over. I'm not ready to give up this full-time, all day, every day career. I'm being outsourced of a job I'm not ready to leave. I knew, even when I penned this post, how fast the days would go, how soon I'd be collecting memories of THIS year, this year before my Leo Leo goes to kindergarten. And so I collect, and I savor, and I relish, and I revel, and I remember.