Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn, and Graham Carter

Aidan's alter ego sometimes takes the form of Tom Sawyer. By his powers of persuasion, he is often able to convince his sidekick in crime, Leo "Huck Finn", to do something inconvenient (i.e. fetching a band aid from upstairs) or slightly scary (retrieving paper from the darkened basement) or something gross (picking up a dead insect). Yet a recent Saturday afternoon takes the cake for Impressive Sawyer-like Smooth Talking.

It was nearly dinnertime, and as usual, the kids were going a little nutty. As usual, we sent them outside to play in the yard until we rang the bell to summon them back in. As usual, we reviewed the basic rules of safety and sent them on their way. When dinner was ready, I sent Jeff out to get the boys. He returned without them, the look on his face equally proud and terrified. "Guess where your son is right now." (Why is it always MY son when it's something naughty? I wondered...) "Which son?" I asked. "Leo." "Um...." Jeff was impatient with me. He didn't wait for me to guess. "He's across the street!" he screeched. Well, that's not so bad, I thought. He's not supposed to cross the street, but really, what's the big deal?

I waited, and Jeff continued. "HE GOT THERE BY CRAWLING THROUGH THE DRAIN PIPE!!! TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET!!!" I dashed outside to see if this was possibly true. I, too, felt equally horrified - and proud. On the one hand, what was he thinking? There could be snakes! Or rats! Or resting raccoons!! There could be rushing water! Or big hairy spiders! On the other hand... wow, Leo, you couldn't pay me to climb through that drain pipe. The one that spans the width of the street, the one that is about 2.5 feet in diameter, the one that is deep in the ditch on the side of our house...

(Notice the tiny speck of light in the second photo. That is the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, the one that convinced Sawyer that it was okay to send Finn through it.)

After a very strict, very stern, very formidable talking-to about the perils that could befall a drain pipe trespasser, we asked Leo why he did it. "Aidan told me to do it. He just told me to crawl through the tunnel, so I did it. I was a little bit afraid. But then I did it."

And there you have it. Sawyer & Finn, 1; Parents, 0.

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The littlest Carter is fast on the heels of mischief, too. Suddenly, food is highly interesting to Pax, and after refusing traditional baby food for months, he gobbles up any finger food/table food we place before him. Still, we're trying to go by the book, introducing a few things at a time and sticking to the softer stuff.

Our small kitchen never has enough space for pantry storage, and food is always spilling out of the cupboards. I've given up the organizational fight, and have informed all who complain about it that "It's the price you have to pay for me being such a creative woman." (....Elmer's glue, Epi pens, and an Etch-a-sketch also compete with the cupboards for space). So I didn't notice the box of graham crackers that had fallen out of the cupboard, but Pax sure did. Jeff and I were both on the main level but in different rooms when we realized someone should find Baby and see what he was up to. "Paxo!" I heard Jeff exclaim. Then a baby's giggle. Jeff carried Pax in to see me, and there he was, triumphantly clutching half-eaten graham crackers in each hand and grinning boldly. Message received: we'll move on to some crunchier stuff, Mister Baby!

And finally, a most beautiful moment. Yesterday was a very difficult day for us. I was weary and worn out from a day spent breaking up squabbles, shushing tantrums, disciplining sassy mouths and potty mouths and mean mouths. We finally sat down to dinner; I was anxious to reach the end of our day. Pax sat quietly in his high chair as we settled in to our own chairs. We began to sing our grace, "Johnny Appleseed," when we heard a most melodious sound - that of Pax joining in on our singing. Jeff and I looked at each other in surprise, then in joy, as we finished out the verse, all 5 of us singing our thanks and praise. What a moment! It was just the grace and pax I needed to get me through the rest of our evening.

Turn Into

Aidan and Leo are creative and imaginative; I love to watch them play. Watching them make their imaginations come to life is marvelous to witness and yet, as an adult, frustrating to try to join. My grown-up mind simply cannot compete with the magical thinking of these children! Their bed becomes a pirate ship in shark infested waters; the couch is a rocket ship one day, a train the next, and a mountain to climb on the third day. They are chefs on Monday, knights and pages on Tuesday, pirates on Wednesday, and nature poets on Friday.

They invent games that they play with each other that seem to make perfect sense to the two of them, yet are inexplicable to those who try to join in their unending fun. One game, called "Sparkle Sparkle Backhoe," is one that can only be played at meals (and usually only at lunch, per Mom's request). The object of the game is to get the forkful of food into one's mouth before the other person finishes saying "Sparkle Sparkle Backhoe!" Aidan, for example, will sloooowly raise the macaroni-filled fork tongs toward his mouth as Leo starts out, "Sparkle, sparkle, back---" suddenly, Aidan shoves the fork in his mouth -- "hoe!!" Apparently, this means Aidan was successful. It becomes Leo's turn, and the game continues in this way for the rest of lunch - accompanied by peals of laughter at every turn of the game.

But my all time favorite game of theirs is called Turn Into, because there is something about it that reminds me of the children's book called The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown. The story is about a bunny who challenges his mother by telling her he will run away; in turn, his mother responds how she will find him every time. (Little Bunny says, "I will become a crocus in a hidden garden." "If you become a crocus in a hidden garden," said his mother, "I will be a gardener. And I will find you." and so on.) Some have mentioned the possibility of this story as an allegory representing God, in that God finds us every time because we are God's children. Allegory or no, the story is touching and true, for what mother (what parent, for that matter) won't go to the ends of the earth for her (or his) child?

There is something about the format of Aidan and Leo's "Turn Into" game that reminds me of this book. As Aidan describes the game, "You start by saying "I'm going to turn into...[insert item here] and then you say something nice." Different every time, this is a recent transcript of their game:

Aidan: If I turn into a trash can...
Leo: If you turn into a trash can, I will dump you out.

Leo: If I turn into a towel...
Aidan: If you turn into a towel, I will dry you off.

Aidan: If I turn into a kitty...
Leo: If you turn into a kitty, I would pick you up.
Aidan: (interjecting, joyfully) I would like that!

Aidan: If I turn into Gladys... [Aidan's Lovey, Gladys]
Leo: If you turn into Gladys, I would hold you.

And that is where the game ended that day. I can only hope that in their hearts and in their minds, these boys are saying the same thing to each other that I am saying to them: I will go to the ends of the earth for you, I will do whatever I need to do for you because you are my family, because I love you.

California - part 2

Finally, a chance to finish -

The second part of our California adventure was equally memorable and fun. We visited the Grants, with whom we've been friends for more than a decade. Emily and I suffered through our student teaching days together, then celebrated our successes over pineapple & rum drinks at the Green Door. We were in each other's weddings and were pregnant together for two of our babies. During our many years of friendship, there have been countless adventures and dozens of travels back and forth between New York and Maryland, and now California and Virginia. Connor and Aidan are 6 weeks apart in age; Patrick and Leo are 6 months apart. Needless to say, all the boys were thrilled to be on a constant play date with such terrific buddies! It is a uniquely lovely experience to witness the friendships that play out with the children of some of your closest friends. It's affirming, really, to see your children discovering common passions and interests with the children of your own good friends.

Probably the biggest highlight of our time in Valencia was the chance to experience Six Flags Magic Mountain. Although the adults did not have a chance to ride many rides, it was worth it just to see the joy in Aidan and Leo's face as they explored the amusement park for the first time. Shockingly, we discovered that Aidan, who is usually more careful and reserved, is a fearless roller coaster rider! He even held his hands way up in the air, whooping and hollering at every turn. Leo looked petrified during the coasters, yet afterward, professed his love of them, too. And Pax enjoyed his first ride on a real* Merry-Go-Round, and was thrilled! (*The teeny one at the mall doesn't count). Our adventure at the park was another one of those times where I found myself marveling at how much enjoyment can be had in simply watching my children experience something so exciting and novel and fun.

Made-from-scratch sticky buns, grilled lemon and garlic shrimp, homemade crabcakes, and fabulous sushi were some of the delicious meals we enjoyed with our hosts. Many of my best recipes come from the Grants, and these culinary treats were no exception. Recently I was watching a show on PBS where they were interviewing an Italian chef, and he described the making and sharing of food not only as pleasure in the food itself but also in the "joy of the table." Indeed, these meals we enjoyed were not just about good food and good drink, but also about good friends gathered together.

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Our travel back home was as smooth and seamless as our flights heading out. Home! Few experiences make you appreciate and love your home more than being away from it for a bit. We reveled in our house, our community, and our East Coast, mountain view setting for days. Reuniting with our friends and reconnecting with family, I felt a deep sense of peace and happiness about the choice we have made to live here, in this friendly, comfortable lake community and in such close proximity to my parents. I love going to the grocery store where my kids talk to Miss Mary and Miss Linda as they bag our food. I love how the small business owners here greet me by name. I love heading to the park and knowing - or at least recognizing - most of the moms there. I love that our kids can walk through the "secret trail" to their grandparents' house. I love our small town, I love the familiarity and the safety and the security we feel. I love the trees, the mountains, the lake, the nearby rivers, the four distinct seasons. As much as we love our California friends and family, and love the time we spend visiting them, we know now more than ever that our roots are firmly planted here in the deep red clay of Virginia.


For more pictures of the Valencia portion of our California adventure, click here...

California - part 1

June 1st arrived after months of anticipation and weeks of planning; finally, we were off for a week's vacation in California. We made the same trip two years ago, going to see Jeff's extended family in Ventura as well as visiting our friends the Grants in Valencia. Two years ago when we headed west, we were bringing the baby Leo to meet his namesake - Leo Vanoni, Jeff's maternal grandfather, as well as the lovely Grandma Rita. We never knew how lucky we would be to return again this year with another sweet babe, our Pax, for the Vanonis to meet.

Last spring when we were discussing a possible trip to California, Jeff and I had agonized over the price of airfare, the cost of renting a car, and the angst of traveling with three small children - one of whom we had yet to meet. Initially, we decided against the trip. But come wintertime, we were both struck with the same revelation - money is nothing but paper when it comes to a journey like this, a chance to see a family legacy like Leo and Rita Vanoni. Leo turns 95 this August; Rita is 89. The cost-benefit analysis yielded that the trip would be priceless. Without further hesitation, we called the relatives to reserve our room, booked the flight, and wrapped the airline tickets up as a gift for the kids to open on Christmas morning. (Okay, fine, we didn't really wrap up the tickets since everyone who's in the know flies paperless these days, but you get the picture.)

I can safely say this now that the trip is behind us: travel has never been easier for the Carter family. Travel went so smoothly that during our layover in O'Hare on our way out, Jeff and I were even able to sit and enjoy a beer at the airport bar while Aidan and Leo nursed lemonade and Pax.... nursed. The only point during our travel that was less-than-wonderful was when I was sitting between Aidan and Leo on the plane, each of them with their heads on my lap and (finally) sleeping. With a shriek, Pax decided he had to nurse that moment, so I balanced him across his brothers' heads and fed him while Jeff relaxed in his seat across the aisle, read his magazine and listened to his ipod. (I felt certain I deserved some kind of a medal for that, but I didn't get so much as a pair of flight wings!)

Our smooth, happy, enjoyable experience traveling became the theme of the week. We collected a thousand sweet memories from our time with our family and friends; the most pervasive and enduring feeling for me of our time in Cali was joy. Some of our best moments include:

Grazing. The fabulous Aunt Laurie could have spared herself the effort of cooking scrumptious meals for us, for, as much as we enjoyed every bite, we might have been as easily satisfied by simply being turned out to pasture to graze at the bounty on the ranch. We ate more than our share's worth of avocados, grapefruit, oranges, strawberries, blackberries, blueberries, loquats, and lemonade made from lemons straight off the tree. When I was young, my mom nicknamed me "Fruit Bat" because of how much I love fruit. Truly, the ranch was a taste of heaven for me...

It's a funny thing about the lemons on the ranch, though. They inspire much mischief among children of all ages, and they are not regarded by some with the reverence they deserve. One of the stories I hear most often from Jeff and every one of his 9 cousins is about the lemon fights they used to have in the orchard, seeking out the most rotten lemons to hurl at each other, covering one another with sticky-sweet juice and bruises they wore as badges of honor. Lo and behold, the first photographs we have of our trip are of Leo and Aidan, hurling rotten lemons at each other, regarding the most rotten finds with near reverence. Jeff was so proud!! Cousins Matt and Mark were equally excited to hear of the lemon fight and regretted that they missed out on throwing putrid fruit at each other.

Aunt Laurie, on the other hand, does not realize what a precious crop she has growing outside her door. Here at home, lemons run $0.48 on a good day and usually closer to $1. In order to make Grandma Rita's Famous Lemonade, we must buy at least 10 lemons, making that half-gallon of nectar cost $5-10. Accustomed to carefully preserving every bit of the fruit back at home, I carefully sealed my leftover lemon in a plastic baggie after slicing a wedge for my water. Imagine my dismay, then, when Laurie arrived home from work, found my lemon, and scolded me for saving it! "See this? We don't save lemons. You can use it to clean something, but after that, it goes into the compost." We harassed her about this endlessly, only to find out that Uncle Charles routinely uses lemons as packing material in boxes he ships - they're free (to him); they don't burst open; they are good cushions for what's inside.

We had a wonderful day with many cousins and second cousins at a beautiful beach/park in the heart of Ventura. Pax dipped his toes in the Pacific Ocean, and Leo and Aidan built terrific sandcastles. That night, Gwyn, Mark, Teagan, and the 5 Carters enjoyed a fabulous local brewery, the Anacapa Brewing Company in Ventura. I didn't think the night would get any better after my first taste of their Nut Brown Ale, but then it did. I have no idea what got into my children that night; maybe it was the cute waitress they were trying to impress. When she asked them for their order, they each told her what they wanted - grilled cheese for Leo; chicken strips for Aidan. She gave them a choice of lemonade, soda, water, or milk - and they chose milk. She asked them if they wanted fresh fruit or french fries - they chose fruit. Jeff and I gaped at each other, picking our chins off the table just in time for the waitress to look at us and say, "How refreshing! I never meet kids who choose the milk and fruit." (I almost said, "Yeah, I don't either," but decided to grin at her as if to say yeah, they do that all the time, aren't they amazing?)

I have a set of heirloom pearls from my paternal grandmother, and I cherish them for their beauty, but more so because they were worn and loved by her. Grandma Rita handed me a small bag and said that Marie (Jeff's mom) mentioned I might enjoy having this. I opened the package to discover a beautiful necklace of smallish brown nuts, professionally strung and clasped by Charlie's wife, Jeweliy. Leo explained that he had gathered macadamia nuts from his tree, all about the same size, and gave them to Jeweliy to string together. He presented them to Rita some years before, who wore them and loved them. She was passing them on to me. The necklace is absolutely perfect, and I cherish it like I cherish the pearls. Only a man like Leo Vanoni would think to make his bride such a unique gift; I am honored to have this token from them both.

Saying goodbye was the hardest thing we've done in a long time. Finding the words to describe the joy of seeing them mingled with the pain and sorrow of saying goodbye is difficult. It was especially hard to part from Grandpa Leo, who is in poor health. My tender-hearted Aidan cried along with the rest of us as we said farewell. The love in the room was palpable, tasteable; like the bountiful avocados on the ranch, I wanted to sink my teeth into it and carry it away with me - yet my heavy heart knew the avocados wouldn't taste as good off the farm, and the chance to express our love fades with the distance between us.

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This entry is breaking one of the cardinal rules of blogging - keep it short - so I'll finish our California adventure trip in a second entry.

If you want to see more pics from the Ventura part of the trip, click here...

Barista

Leo is a well-known and well-documented coffee drinker. He is also becoming infamous for his fierce determination to be independent and to do everything himself...

Summer has made us deliciously lazy in the mornings, since there's no bus to catch. Still, my morning coffee is essential to the success of the day. We've gotten into the habit of setting up the coffeemaker the night before, then asking Aidan, our earliest riser, to push the button to start the brew before settling in for morning cartoons. Yesterday, Leo was the first one up, so Jeff carefully explained to Leo what to do, and our coffee was ready without a hitch.

This morning, however, was a little different. I was soundly sleeping; Jeff was bleary eyed when he simply said, "Leo, can you go make the coffee?" The exuberant "SURE!" should have tipped him off, but alas, it did not. Moments later I was awakened by the sound of the coffee grinder - and the next moment, Jeff shot out of bed and down the stairs to discover our little Barista had dragged his chair over to the cupboards, pulled down the coffee grinder, plugged it in (gasp!!), filled the grinder with beans without spilling a single one, and even took care to cover the grinder with a towel - our usual protocol for lessening the volume of the grinder. Jeff delicately explained to Leo that all he needed to do was to push the button to make the coffee, and that Daddy didn't intend for him to plug anything in or grind any beans.

Leo announced, "Oh! This is the coffee I am making for tonight. I already started the other coffee."

happiness 2

37. witnessing the baptism of a baby

38. laughing and smiling so much that your cheeks hurt

39. relishing not working at SEP this summer

40. relishing not working even when you wish you could escape your children for 5 minutes' peace and quiet - knowing the noise and racket is still better than what you could be doing.

41. Moms. Especially your very own mom.

42. Getting caught talking to yourself in public

43. Sitting on the porch to watch a terrific rain storm

44. Holding hands

45. Humility

46. Works of art constructed from coffee filters, popsicle sticks, glue, and markers.

47. Learning a brand new word such as "emetephobia"

Happy

When I was in middle school, I started making a list of "things to be happy about" after being inspired by the book, 1,000 Things to be Happy About. I listed hundreds and hundreds of things, and collected this "happiness" for years. Although I have long since lost that list, the one that sticks out in my mind the most is "being able to breathe through your nose again after having a cold."

Recently I decided to start a new list. I made a few rules for myself - no going back on things that have happened in the past; no excessive elaboration; keep it simple.

As is always the case, whenever I grab a scrap of paper to add to my list, I write down the five most burning ideas - and then think of 10 more after I've put it away. And so it begins - this list was begun about a month ago, and I'll continue to add to it every now and then.

1. Browsing in a bookstore
2. Watching a baby nurse
3. Nursing a baby
4. the peace that overtakes a sleeping child's face
5. coffee in bed
6. getting a fantastic deal on a purchase
7. being cheerful in a sea of grumpy people
8. paying a compliment to someone
9. receiving an unexpected compliment that truly makes your day
10. a glimpse of something unexpected and wonderful
11. anticipation
12. tickle monsters
13. Coffee Breath Dragons who tickle
14. children with nice manners
15. soaking wet, bubble covered children
16. how your favorite jeans make you feel when you wear them
17. stopping the car to write something down on your "happy" list
18. a perfectly ordinary day that is perfectly wonderful.
19. the really, really, really funny things that kids say
20. making wearable art
21. taking a picture that captures the moment
22. remembering the fun that was being had when a mediocre picture is taken
23. the feeling after a great run
24. standing up for your convictions, no matter what
25. dinner with new friends
26. enjoying a beer at an airport
27. a heroic stranger on an airplane who makes your kid feel like a million bucks after he's had to give up his window seat to his brother
28. family
29. the amusing stories you get to tell about your family
30. the chance to say goodbye before it is too late.
31. flying through the air with the greatest of ease
32. a best friend with whom to fly
33. a great glass of wine
34. not being able to stop thinking of things to write down.....
35. making yourself write one more because you don't like even numbers, you only like odd numbers.
36. odd numbers.

...and so it will continue. I invite you to add your own....